I will immediately submit a tape to the bigwigs at NBC. They will instantly love me and will immediately offer me a deal. Over the course of the next year, I will become something of a cultural phenomenon, much like the show "Glee" has wormed it's way into 8 million viewers' hearts this year (speaking of which, my first show will be featuring the cast of Glee. I will sing a broadway tune with them). Mariska Hargitay will also be on this first show. Within 2-3 years worth of time they will offer me a late night show on cable television and I will become the first woman talk show host on network television (Chelsea Handler doesn't count because she is on E! and I am talking about the big networks like NBC, ABC, and CBS). They will probably ask me to replace Letterman. All this time I have been talking about how much I love Bon Jovi, and it will be much like when Rosie O'Donnell kept wanting Tom Cruise on her show, or when David Letterman was badgering Oprah to make an appearance, or when Ellen petitioned to be on the cover of O! magazine. Then that great day will come and I will meet Jon. After this point, I will have to break it to the execs that I will no longer be accepting a renewed contract. At this point my career will have taken off, and I will have been given an honorary doctorate by some esteemed university (I'm guessing this is not really how this works, but for the sake of this daydream it'll do). I will then go on to become a Sociology professor, and students will flock to my classes because I was a celebrity, and we all know how the American culture values celebrities. I will then begin a quiet life as a Sociology professor and will influence lives left and right--this time not through celebrity interviews and getting them to donate large sums of money to charity because they can play silly games like "name that tune," but through the explanation of inequality, social theory and activism.
The only flaw in this plan is that I would have to compete with Ellen DeGeneres for the first few seasons of my show, and she is stiff competition. Maybe I can modify this and we can just co-host the show together--sort of an "Andy Richter/Conan O'Brien" partnership. I mean, you have to make sacrifices for your dreams.