Wednesday, June 30, 2010
What do I love? FROZEN YOGURT. Or as us expert yogurt eaters like to call it "Fro Yo." What does the city of Boise SEVERELY lack? FROZEN YOGURT STORES: Namely: TCBY. Now, as an environmentalist, I must alert the world that not only are the polar bears losing their icebergs, but I am losing my frozen yogurt: Let's get this to the top of the endangered species list ASAP. About three years ago I believe I counted seven TCBY locations in the local tri-suburbia area (Eagle, Meridian and the city of Boise) which was more than an adequate amount to satiate my thirst for this delectable dish. This number has since been severely depleted. As I have been home, I have driven past many of the old locations only to find them completely vacated. This a source of great distress, as my friend and I were TCBY frequenters...so apparently we were keeping these places in business. I wasn't SO distressed about it, as last year when I was home I had discovered a local fro yo business different from TCBY (and yes, I felt like I was cheating on TCBY)...only to drive by and see that IT TOO HAD CLOSED. Here's my issue: WHY are these places going out of business?! Frozen yogurt is 1) absolutely incredibly without a doubt DELICIOUS. You can put any topping of your choice on it! It is soft! Creamy! Delectable! It's not like they're trying to force something disgusting, like pickles and chocolate down your gullet (although pregnant women might flock to a store like that, so perhaps it would stay in business). But there is no logical, sane reason that a store that serves such a delightful specimen of a dessert would not get some serious cash flow. 2) It's extremely healthy! There are live active cultures that are good for your digestive tract--you get your dairy in for the day--and for all of us sitting around and complaining about the obesity of America we aren't doing such a great job of keeping the issue at bay if we keep shutting down the TCBY's. This isn't just a local problem Boise: This is a NATIONAL travesty of monumental importance. Our children will suffer! Great scott. I'm going to have to get my fro yo from the local Maverick. It's all downhill from here, folks.
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
A lot of my friends are getting married/already married, which is super awesome for them, and I enjoy participating in all the festivities as well. I like a good party. And dancing. Lots and lots of bustin' a move. I'm the maid of honor in a wedding this year and it has been a delight. However, there is one thing that seems grossly unfair: the showering of gifts. It's like Christmas times eight. I mean heaps! "Loads" as the English would say! Now, as a single person, scratch that, as a person, I greatly enjoy the receiving of gifts, and lots of them. However, at this current stage in my life, my marital status deters me from receiving gross amounts of presents. Could this be discrimination of another kind??? Thus, I have devised a new cultural revolution that I think should take place. Hear me out: the purpose of giving a couple gifts is so that they can have the necessary items to begin their life together. It is also tradition to give the bride boo-cou lingerie for a bachelorette party. However, these are things that are necessary for singles as well. Single people need things in their home, kitchen, what have you, just as much as the next wedded woman and man, and, it's always nice to have new undergarments just for the hey-haw of it even if no one is seeing them--in fact, as a single person, I believe that since I am alone, wouldn't it make more sense that I would want to look good? I'm just saying. Thus, in an aim for equality for all, I propose that each and every person should get some sort of showering of gifts once in his/her lifetime. You could use this up when you're single, or perhaps if you arrive at a certain age and are still single you would get a Singles Shower, and if you get married afterwards no presents for you. So, for example, if the magic age was 35, my friends and family would be like, "Jess is 35 and single! This means one thing: PARTY!" This would put a lot more of a positive spin on things and maybe we would get away from that "single people must be so lonely and depressed" stereotype. I mean, what if you've decided that PERHAPS marriage isn't your deal--you're giving up lots, and lots of presents, which is a huge unfortunate travesty. Some Christians would even say that God has ordained certain people to be single, and if that's my lot in life so be it--but why should I be punished with no loot? And, if we're celebrating a couple's decision to wed, should we not as much celebrate someone's decision to remain single? Is love not a reward in and of itself?! The tax breaks alone are a gift! Not to mention--married people now have two incomes to pool, thus they can potentially buy more stuff. I'm single--I've got to work twice as hard for that new Kitchen Aid. And if you're celibate, frick, that deserves a showering of gifts in and of itself. I say, you deserve a PARADE. I'm not saying I'm lonely or sad or whining that I'm single by any means, I just want some presents. And maybe a party in my honor. A new china set. A new bed sham. A new crock pot. Perhaps a new deluxe toaster or coffee/espresso maker. And gift cards that abound! All I am saying is that perhaps we need to evaluate the current system that is set up. Peace, liberty, justice and presents for all!!! That's the American way!
Monday, June 21, 2010
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Friday, June 18, 2010
Lemon Cream Cupcakes
- 1 cup butter, softened
- 2 cups sugar
- 3 eggs
- 2 teaspoons grated lemon peel
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 3-1/2 cups all-purpose flour
- 1 teaspoon baking soda
- 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
- 1/2 teaspoon salt
- 2 cups (16 ounces) sour cream
- 3 tablespoons butter, softened
- 2-1/4 cups confectioners' sugar
- 2 tablespoons lemon juice
- 3/4 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 1/4 teaspoon grated lemon peel
- 1 to 2 tablespoons milk
- In a large bowl, cream butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Beat in lemon peel and vanilla. Combine the flour, baking soda, baking powder and salt; add to creamed mixture alternately with sour cream, beating well after each addition (batter will be thick).
- Fill greased or paper-lined muffin cups with 1/4 cup of batter. Bake at 350° for 25-30 minutes or until a toothpick inserted near the center comes out clean. Cool for 10 minutes before removing from pans to wire racks to cool completely.
- For frosting, cream butter and confectioners' sugar in a small bowl until light and fluffy. Add the lemon juice, vanilla, lemon peel and milk; beat until smooth. Frost cupcakes. Yield: about 2-1/2 dozen.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Although, not with the same sexual prowess as Marilyn Monroe, but you get the picture. Didn't exactly fit in with the family friendly neighborhood that I currently reside in.
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
why am i twenty four years old and i just realized i was pretty?
why do i even have to be pretty?
why at twenty four did i just realize that i’m smart enough?
why at twenty four did i just realize that being a size eight and one hundred and forty eight pounds is good enough?
why am i twenty four years old and just realizing that it’s okay that i get mad?
why did it take me twenty four years to realize that i am sexy, and that i want it? yup, it.
why at twenty four did i just figure out that there’s more to life then having a ring on my finger?
that maybe i could be happy.
that maybe i
why am I twenty four years old and just realizing the power of femininity?
that being a woman is beautiful
that my emotion is beautiful—it is not my weakness
why do i have to convince myself of these things every. day?
why am i twenty four years old and just finding my voice?
why am i twenty four years old and just realizing that if i want to eat four desserts in one day, that does not make me a pig...it just means i know what i want?
why am i twenty four years old and just realizing that I am complicated [and there is power in that]?
and i will
that is twenty four years too long.
why was admitting that i am a feminist the best and worst day of my life?
maybe because admitting that means that i am strong [or at least trying to be].
why does that scare you so much?
why can i not tell you that i like you [or that i don’t]?
why do i cover up who i am just to please you?
why do i give things up for you?
why can i not say what i mean to say?
why do i play along?
why have i been taught to keep quiet?
because i have a lot to say.
why do i live in a world where you can tell me things like “you can’t be pretty and smart at the same time”
where you think you get to comment on what i look like [and you get to approve]
where you get to tell me that i’m too much
where my strength scares you
where i’m not taken seriously
that i’m too emotional
that you are the one who gets to validate me
that i'm a nag
that i have to walk down the street and be afraid of you
that i'm not as hot as her [and then why do i hate her?]
that you can pay me less
that you think you can have my last name
that you think my body is for your entertainment
that you “have to” throw me the ball just because you think i’m not as good at sports as you
that you think what i have to say isn’t as good as what you have to say
that you can be chubby and rich...and that i just have to keep looking good
that being feminine isn’t good enough for you—you have to be a “man”
without realizing that you are not whole without the feminine
you’re saying that i’m not as good as you are
and that makes me want to run the other way
why do i live in a world where i think i am not
that i am
why am i so scared of Me?
Because I am the Good Girl.
I don’t step out of line.
I do not do bad things with boys.
I do not lose control.
I don’t know more then I should.
I ask questions when I know the answers.
I say mean things to try to fit in.
I lose myself for the sake of everyone else.
this is who i was. this is who i am.
but this is not just about me. this is about all of us.
I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar.