Wednesday, May 25, 2011

The Sociology of Glee

If you know me IN THE SLIGHTEST you know that I have nothing but praises to sing about the show "Glee" (pun intended!!). My affection for Glee may slant ever so slightly towards "obsession." Darrin Criss is the Tiger to my Beat, you know. I'm even going to see "Glee Live" JUNE SIX!!! Yeah baby!!!

What's the "but" so wisely presume is coming? Wait for it...

I have developed over the last three years what I like to call my "third eye," i.e. my sociological imagination. You have read about this repeatedly. Sometimes I try to turn it off, as best I can, because there are times that if you sit and think too much you'll go nutty and probably be fairly depressed and it can really be very overwhelming to think of all the problems in the world. I'm learning to choose what I'm going to let slide, and what I need to take a stand on. I'm learning to turn my anger into positive action, because it turns out delivering your opinions as a very angry feminist will not get you very far with people (I may or may not have personally experienced this...). However, my S.I. as we will call it for short could not be tamed as Glee fairly beat me over the head with irritating messages and forced the third eye to make an appearance--they really brought this on themselves.

It turns out, as I've dually noted time and time again that Glee sends very mixed messages. I love Glee because it has made sweeping strides for the GLBT (Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender) community. There is an openly gay couple on the show (Kurt and Blaine), and the show explores the experiences of those "in the closet," which can be a very painful (not to mention horribly harmful) experiences for too many people these days (i.e. Santana). The subject of bullying has been explored, particularly as it pertains to GLBT students. The character Rachel has two gay dads. I love that a lot of these experiences are brought to life in the media, and hopefully as we see more and more of these relationships they will become more normalized and therefore be the death of heterosexism/homophobia.

So while Glee is sending fairly positive images of the GLBT community (though there are still some issues I had but doesn't merit elaboration here) and brings several important issues to light, how does it treat the issue of gender? Given that this was my emphasis when I was a sociology major, this is of course where my brain inevitably meanders. While Glee has featured episodes about female empowerment (i.e. the Madonna episode), and features strong female characters (Rachel, Mercedes, Lauren), and conversations where the female characters talk about how they aren't going to let anything get in the way of their dreams (specifically men). Some of the boys on the show fall in love with girls that don't fit the "typical" standard of beauty (i.e. Lauren and Puck) which is awesome. However, it seems that the female characters eventually fall into very stereotypical "female" roles (i.e. being obsessed with relationships with men). For the purposes of this blog, I'm going to focus solely on the finale as a representation of Glee's mixed messages, because if I were to do a content analysis of the whole two seasons that would article. So the one scene, there sits Quinn, sobbing over how she is not in a relationship, how she "just wants to be loved." Sure, men want this in their lives as well, but you would never see a scene with Finn sitting on the bed and crying and saying, "But I just want to be loved!!!" Rachel is shown consistently obsessing about Finn, which finally comes to a head in the finale, and though she says "I'm not going to wait around for you," decides to get back together with Finn "in the mean time." While the male characters desire to be in relationships, they pursue said relationships, but it is perceived as "cute and romantic" and they aren't shown crying or obsessing about said relationships, where when female characters such as Rachel pursue relationships it's seen as "desperate." Don't believe me? You should sit around when I'm watching this show with friends and hear the conversations that develop...usually something to the effect of "Rachel get your life together! Get over him" and "Oh Finn, that's so cute you invited her on a date to Central Park" (even though you're sort of being slightly toolish and in "love" with two girls at the same time...). The problem I have with this whole premise (i.e. females getting bashed over the head with message after message over how they should be in relationships) is that it can feel like that is all we're waiting for to give life meaning, and there's so much more to life than that. And perhaps if we were not focusing so much on men, other things would be accomplished. This is obviously to say that I don't have the desire to be in a relationship (believe me, I certainly do), but rather I don't want that to be the ONLY thing that my life is about (or made to look like it's the only thing I think about as a woman).

But my real peeve with Glee (if you wanted to know) is the display of masculinity. I was horribly offended when, during the finale, some of the male characters were sitting around discussing "chick flicks" and Puck says, "Take her on one of those big awful dates you see in one of those unwatchable romantic comedies that you grow a vagina if you watch all the way through." Translation: the worst thing that can happen to a man is that he becomes a...woman. I don't know about you but who WOULDN'T want to be a woman?! We are wonderful. This is not un-typical for Glee however...there have been many derogatory comments made by (typically straight) male characters regarding femininity. Boys can't sing "girl" songs (i.e. the Lady Gaga/Madonna episodes)--but this doesn't work the other way--girls can sing "boy" songs any day of the week. What strikes me as very interesting about all of this is that it is all but a blip on our P.C. radar. We deride racist or homophobic remarks (as we should!!!), but gender fascinates me most of all because it is seen as "natural." Men and women are "different species" and therefore should be treated differently. And the worst thing that a man can be is a woman, or have anything to do at all with what is "women's stuff." GAG. And what we don't often realize is that unfortunately when men and women are treated differently, most of the privilege goes But I could go on. Check out this website, or this one if you want to know more about gender issues.

Finally, as I was watching the show, this PSA came on from one of the show's stars, Jane Lynch about using the "r" word, which is horribly offensive and degrading. In the PSA she states that the "r" word should be treated like any other slur--and I full heartedly agree. I loved the PSA (as that word is used often, and I don't think most people really think about what it means), but I couldn't help but wish for a PSA for the word "Bitch," and how that word is so widely used in order to degrade or insult females. Men are not called male dogs to degrade them--they are called "son of a bitch." And yet, just as saying things like how a man might "grow a vagina" if he does something so horrifying as watching a feminized movie, the use of the B word goes unnoticed, which I believe shows the degree to which gender issues are important in America (see: not really). Sometimes I feel like women's issues are viewed as "all those crazy angry feminists who never shut their mouths" (is that just me?). Bottom line: We have been told to not use the "f" word to degrade those in the GLBT community, we've been taught to never use racial slurs (and all REALLY GOOD things!), but why is it that the "b" word is so acceptable to us? Why is it that we aren't alarmed by this word as we are about other words??

Anyways, these are my thoughts on Glee. Love it, hate it, there are some interesting social messages (and potential implications) going on. My point in writing this blog is to see demonstrate how gender-charged remarks can hurt and DO matter, and even though it's the status quo to not notice them or not be offended, we need to work towards cutting them out of the vocab--though they may be normalized in our society, they are directly hurtful to 51 percent of the population (and 100 percent if you include the damage that gender can have on men). *Additionally, please note that while it potentially could seem that I am "man hating" right now that's not the case at all. I loveeee men a whole lot, I'm just saying structurally there are things that men benefit from and women don't, and it's important to recognize this in order to move towards equality...


Thursday, May 19, 2011

Sweet fancy moses.

I think I've just struck pure, delicious, brain-stimulating G-O-L-D:

This sucker is ripe full of interesting reads!!! You know what Connecticut, you continue with your four day rain marathon--I've got plenty of reading material to keep me satisfied!!! And now with a new French press, I'm all set!

Wednesday, May 11, 2011


After almost two years of trying to find a delicious independently owned coffee shop I DID it!!! You have no idea that strife I felt every time I walked into a Starbucks, but it was literally all I had! My new little gem is called the Hartford Baking Company and it's just the most precious little shop you've ever laid eyes on. Get this! My new friend Debbie whom I met who works there worked at freaking MACRINA in Seattle. You may have enjoyed my service at one time or another there from June-September 2008. She worked at the other location (Bell Town, I worked at Queen Anne) and get this also--she claims that the breads sold at HBC are better than Macrina! That's a bold statement, but I'm willing to find out if it's true or not...but the BEST part of this whole dream-world utopia I've discovered is they SERVE STUMPTOWN COFFEE...need I say more? If I do, it's basically A-W-E-S-O-M-E coffee if you weren't able to put two and two together by the excited tone of this blog or the overabundance of exclamation points!!!!! (context clues!!!!!)

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

"Live in the moment and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering!"
--Fanny Crosby (AWESOME NAME by the way!!!)

Monday, May 9, 2011

Potential Online Dating Profile

I think online dating is an interesting concept. I realize it's the new trend of the future, and not to say I wouldn't try it, mainly because I work at an all women's college so dating opportunities are few and far between, and why not, it gets me out of the house and I feel up for anything these days. And I like having "good" (as in ridiculous) stories like this one to blog about (and don't you looovvveee reading them?). But the whole concept of selling oneself online is really curious to me. Because this is essentially what you are doing--making yourself look as cool and normal as possible, along with convincing the person you are going out with that you're not some sort of serial killer or a complete looney toon. But seriously, for the "about me" section on the online survey thingys--what the frick are you supposed to put? Because I, dear friends, am very, very complex and cannot be summed up in a few sentences. I feel like if you were to take a general content survey of most online profiles, you would most likely come across the following: "I'm a fun loving person who enjoys trying new things. I want to meet someone who has a good sense of humor." I think we can all generally agree that these are fairly safe (and obvious) statements to make, and really don't tell you very much about the person at all.

But here's the real question, which I suppose goes with selling yourself--who the heck is going to write "I HATE laughing. I am completely uptight, and I hate having a good time too." No one is ever going to write that, but the funny part is that for some reason we feel the need to re-iterate and assure the person on the other side of the computer that we do indeed enjoy "having a good time" by including it in the "About Me" section. Well duh--most people do. It might be fun to write an online profile in all opposites. For example:

*Time waster
*I hate people
*Angry 99 percent of the time
*Cupcake hater

What I really want someone to write on an online profile is all of their flaws, because this is the real deal breaker in a relationship. Do you pick your nose? Do you smoke illegal substances? Perhaps you hate puppies. Are you homophobic or a misogynist? Have you not cleaned your bathroom in 6 months? These are the things I really want to know. Stop the charades!!! Don't tell me something obvious like "I like eating delicious food," (DUH--do normal people enjoy eating crappy food?)--let's get REAL.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

In Mourning

R.I.P. 4-5 inches of my hair. I'm really, really sad. I always felt pretty low-maintenance when it came to my hair--"laissez-faire" as the French might say. I was never someone who got all freaked out and crazy when I went to the hair dresser (this layer is 1/8 inch off, or these hairs didn't get trimmed EXACTLY how I wanted), just as long as my bangs were fairly decent I was happy. Oh my how the tables have turned to quote Adele. So yesterday as I was sitting in Starbucks sipping a coffee I decided I REALLY needed a trim. I'm not terribly observant, so the fact that I noticed the goo gob of split ends on the ends of my hair indicated to me that it was indeed time for a trim. Hmmm I thought to myself, I am out and about, there is a Supercuts across the street, maybe I will venture over. To the average person, the word "Supercuts" might have been the first indicator that this wasn't going to end well or perhaps what we call a "RED LIGHT," and I'll admit I had my doubts. But I am not average (and unfortunately beginning to think "below average" when it comes to decision making skills...?) and my inner monologue kicked in:

"Jess, remember the HORRIBLE experience you had last time? REMEMBER THE BANG TRIM OF NOVEMBER 2010!?!?!?!"
"Yes, but that was one stylist and they switch stylists all the time over there, so you're not going to get the same one. AND you just need a TRIM, and it's very specific. You just want two inches off. How difficult can a trim be?!" (bwa ha ha laughed the gods of hair!!! The irony of your statement they laughed to themselves!!!)
"OK yes, but SUPER CUTS. That should be enough to stop you!"
"But it's cheap!!! And you have no money!!! AND don't go on stereotypes--you're a sociologist!--maybe you'll get a really good cut you didn't expect!"

As usual, capitalism won out, as I could pay $15 for a simple haircut or twice as much for what I ANTICIPATED would be "the same thing" at another salon. As I would soon find out, $15 extra dollars would have been well worth it. And while I usually think of being an "eternal optimist" as a good thing, it seems that the line has been blurred between positivity and lunacy.

I thought I was speaking in fairly obvious and direct English as I described to the stylist what I wanted, but I either speak another language besides Spanish that I didn't know I spoke, or the English I was speaking was how shall we say "loosely interpreted." Apparently my degree in Communications is worthless. It seems a "healthy trim" and "remove two inches please" means cut off four to five inches and bring my mid-back hair to my shoulders. I think it was the first hair cut I've ever shed tears over. All the vitamins I ate to grow it out. All that TIME--and for WHAT????? Because while many people's hair I know grows at a rapid rate, mine grows at the pace of a turtle or a tree: SEE: VERY SLOW. TWO YEARS it took me to grow it out!!! I didn't have a college degree yet when I started on this journey!

But I'm trying this new thing where I'm trying to look at the silver lining to every what-I-choose-to-interpret-as-"bad" thing that happens to me: I will argue the positive. I was able to muster up five "good" things that have come out of my predicament:
1. My haircut is "greener" because I will have to buy less products to maintain it, spend less time washing it, and less time blow-drying it, therefore saving resources
2. I will be able to get more volume by teasing it because it is now shorter and therefore easier to make it bigger--and we know how I love me some volume.
3. It will be cooler in the hot summer weather.
4. I have learned to never, ever trust Supercuts AGAIN.
5. I DID get the healthy trim I wanted...(though it's a little comparable to asking for "non fat dairy" and getting brussel sprouts instead)

That is all. While you may want to see a picture I am not psychologically ready yet. I'm still trying to figure out a positive for the coffee I spilled all over myself on my bike ride home today.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Check out my new favorite blog to follow:

This woman basically takes dresses from thrift stores and makes them into something cool and trendy. My kind o' blog!!!
"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity..."

--Gilda Radner