Thursday, May 27, 2010

Plight of the Veggie-tarian

The other day I went to lunch with my boss and coworker. My boss is always gracious and asks where I would like to eat, as I am the non-meat eater of the bunch. I rarely have trouble finding places to eat, as most anywhere you can order a garden burger or a vegetable soup of some sort, so selecting a restaurant usually isn't an issue. I suggested a place that one of my RA's had pointed out to me, and my boss said, "Hmmm, that is a meat eater's haven." So, I ran in, paroosed the menu to make sure I'd be able to eat something, and spotted a "build your own panini" special--perf! I thought. I'll just take off the meat, and we'll be all set! RESTAURANT APPROVED.

Now, perhaps because I come from a land that very lovingly embraces vegetarians with all their might, and non-meat eaters are a dime a dozen so I typically don't feel out of place, I thought that my request for no meat would not be so frowned upon. However, I oftentimes forget that my current surroundings meat is a staple and necessity for a meal, and sometimes East Coasters seem to think that "vegetarian" means "still eats chicken" (yup, Gramma asked me if I still ate chicken as a vegetarian). So anywho, there we were at lunch, and the menu looked something like this:

Step 1: Choose your meat (turkey, ham, chicken, beef)
Step 2: Select cheese (provolone, cheddar, swiss)
Step 3: Choose your vegetable (tomato, spinach, lettuce)
Step 4: Choose a special (sauteed mushrooms, sauteed onions, etc)

My conversation with my waitress:
Me: "Hello, I would like the build your own panini with the swiss, spinach--"
Waitress: "Wait! You need to pick a meat."
Me: "Oh, no meat please. Swiss, spinach--"
Waitress: "No meat? You need to pick a meat. You skipped step 1!"
Me: "Yes, no meat please. Can you still make the sandwich with no meat?"
Waitress: (as if this has NEVER been done before in the history of paninis): "Uhhhh (glances back towards the kitchen as if she is going to have to go ask for such a weird request)...I mean I guess, but...(as if a sandwich without meat is going to be the vilest thing that a human being could possibly consume)
My boss: "She's a vegetarian."
Waitress: "(sigh) OK, well yeah."
What I wanted to say: "I'm sorry, were you eating this sandwich? Were you paying for my meal? Is this OK with you?"
What I actually said, while smiling graciously: "OK, I'll have the swiss cheese, spinach, tomatoes, and sauteed onions please. Thank you!"
My boss: "Did I not warn you this was a meat eater's haven?"

Touche. Toooouche. This sort of reminded me of this scene in "My Big Fat Greek Wedding:"

I think in retaliation the waitress told me there were no more cookies for the pazookie...I'm skeptical. Who EVER runs out of chocolate chip cookies at 1 PM?! Who ever runs out of chocolate chip cookies PERIOD? YEAH RIGHT.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Hairspray Updates

Well kids, I attempted my homemade hairspray. EPIC FAIL. Sigh. It basically turned out to be orange juice with a little rubbing alcohol in it. And I found out you have to refrigerate the stuff and make it like every 2 weeks--a wee bit inconvenient. And it got a bunch of crud on my BRAND NEW hot pot when I boiled the oranges. So far, being earth friendly isn't working in my favor. But, I found a LOOP HOLE. I was talking to a friend about my aerosol hairspray dilemma and he said that as long as it says no "CFC's" then I'm in the clear, and sure enough I checked my cans and there was a whole "Earth Info" section. Score! Let the teasing commence!

Monday, May 24, 2010

Summer Goals!

All this earth-talk got me thinking about my own goals for the summer. I know that seems random, but it's not, because very little is. They were related in my head. So these are my goals, because I tend to be short winded in actually carrying things out (i.e. I get really hyped up and then the passion sort of dies down once I have to actually begin doing the work...or a Law and Order: SVU marathon deters me, either one). Anywho, perhaps by actually writing them down I will be more apt to do them.

1. Study for the GRE/start applying to Grad School (I will learn a lot of awesome vocabulary words which I am most certain I shall employ/utilize so grab your pocket dictionary folks!)
2. Take a picture every day (or at least most!)
3. Shop locally and make super awesomely deliciously scrumptuous dishes (which I will then take a picture of--see #2)
4. Find (or bake!) the most delicious cupcake EVER. Or try to find one better then Trophy cupcakes (I know, good luck Jess).
5. Ride bike everywhere. Actually, this is not a goal, rather a reality as I will not have a car (yay for reducing that carbon footprint. And I'll be lookin' good as I will be fit as a fiddle--hellllloooo gentlemen!!!! Although, come to think of it, the search for the perfect cupcake might deter that, so...I'll get back to you)
6. Buy no clothing. OK, this one is going to be super challenging, but it's a must have. I have too much stuff. One person does not need this much crap, and gosh darn it I need to whip my consumerist butt into shape--I am only one person, and there are only seven days in a week!! And I need to save money. So bye bye new clothes. It hurts, but pain only makes you stronger. And a little smaller of a capitalist. Although, could one argue that I do less laundry because I have so many clothes and therefore reduce my carbon footprint by not wasting as much water? Ok, now I'm just trying to talk myself out of it--stay on target, Miller (and no, not IN Target, because I DO love their clothes--ON target).
6. Meet Mariska Hargitay. Or Jon Bon Jovi. Or Tina Fey. This goal may be harder to achieve as I doubt these three people spend much time residing in Boise, Idaho or will be in Seattle during the exact 10 days I will be there (considering 2 of the 3 have shows based in NYC and one lives in New Jersey), but I will do my darndest. A woman can dream, can she not? Answer: yes, she can. Just like Obama said.

"You're like a hippie who showers."

This is one of my favorite quotes from a friend. And you know what, it's semi-true. I certainly have a hippy-ishness about me, and thus my hippie heart was gladdened (and my passion intensified) whenst I went to Bean Town this weekend and discovered THIS little delight.

BOSTON: SCORE!!!! I WILL be attending this, mark my words, because there is nothing better then a bunch of non-meat eaters getting together to celebrate eating and earth saving.

But why, praytell am I on an "earth kick" right now? Well, I guess I've been on an earth kick for awhile, but tonight my friend Amanda (who is visiting from Seattle) is here and we were watching the show "30 Days." This is a series by the guy who did the movie "Super Size Me" and he has people from competing viewpoints live together for 30 days (i.e. a Christian moves in with an athiest, a straight guy moves in with a gay guy, etc.) or he actually does something for 30 days (i.e. live in jail or living on minimum wage). Needless to say, it is invigorating and intellectually stimulating, and my sociological heart is oft warmed as he seeks to expose the dark underbelly that is... American culture--DA, DA DAAAA!!!! (or, something like that...) Anyways, we watched a few episodes and the last one we watched was about some "average" consumers who went and lived on a completely "off the grid" farm, where basically these people were trying to completely eliminate their carbon footprint which they did by making their houses from mud and using their poop for fuel (or as they called it "hu-manure" which I thought was just hilariously clever). This of course got me thinking about my own carbon footprint (people using their own waste for energy tends to do that), which has been GASTLY the last few weeks as I've been driving here and there and everywhere, although I do score major points for not being a carnivore--hoorah! At one point in the show, they brought up the use of aerosol hairspray as an environmental impact factor. Amanda looked at me, because if you know anything about me at all you know I L-O-V-E teasing my hair and I live for the aerosol!!! It speaks to me!!! The volume! I love it love it love it! I need it need it need it!!! MMM. I can smell the fumes now! I digress. After turning off the lights because we were inspired to save energy upon watching the show, I immediately googled "earth friendly hairspray" because I would still love to have my cake and eat it too (i.e. still have hairspray but be environmentally friendly. And I like cake.). And, bad news for me, turns out hairspray has lots of toxins and crap in it (I know SHOCKING but sometimes you just don't think about the obvious OK?!). I just thought of those toxins weasling their way into my hair follicles and making their way into my brain and eating all the intellect right out of it. Yeah, it was ugly. This news really did not bode for me well as I had committed an environmental sin and had purchased not ONE bottle of aerosol that day but TWO (don't ask--my hair ritual is intense) . Anywho, it turns out you can MAKE your own hairspray out of lemons or oranges by boiling the crap out of them in water, and this is very convenient for me as I just purchased a hot pot today which I shall put to good use. So what shall be my science experiment tomorrow? HAIRSPRAY MAKING. AWES. And you will enjoy sitting next to me because I will smell delightfully of citrus. And then you will want some orange juice, thus you will get your Vitamin C for the day and fight off scurvy, so really everyone wins. All that to say, the show was inspiring because one person really CAN make a difference, and I think we tend to forget that (even though we're such individualists and everyone thinks they're so very's really very ironic. But again I digress). Anywho, I'll let you know how it all turns out...

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Again with the free stuff!

So I apologize for my lack of blogging oh my dear readers. This past month has been a blur, and I've actually had quite the social life, BELIEVE IT OR NOT. Which is awesome, as this was severely lacking, and it was if I was like "Hmmm let me take all the times I wish I would have been hanging out with people and squish all of those meetings into April." In the last month Glee has come back on the airwaves, much to my delight. All the students have checked out of the residence halls, and student leaders have gone through some intense training, and the seniors have graduated. My brother met David Sedaris at the Mac store (lucky). I finally finished my first ever (though highly disappointing) grad class. I'm all smart and stuff.

Anywho, today had turned out to be a very ill-fated day, but was quickly remedied with a delightfully humorous incident. There I was, checking my mail and I got five package slips. 5 packages? What, praytell, did I order and forget about? Had I ordered 5 seasons of Law and Order: SVU on DVD, or perhaps a combo Law and Order and Scrubs and it had perhaps slipped my mind? I immediately ruled this out, as I can stream them live via Netflicks, so this would be highly unlikely. Is a secret admirer sending me multiple packages? No...Bon Jovi and Matthew Morrison don't know my address. Did all my friends and my mama decide to send me love all on one day? It's not August 11 yet, so I'm guessing it wasn't a gaggle of birthday presents. So, there I was, tra la la-ing down to the mailroom to discover what could be awaiting me. I had happened to drag my co worker, Tai, along with me, which turned out to work in my favor, as I ended up needing her arms. Upon my arrival and my handing in of my package slips the mailman said, "Ooooh you got some cookie dough." This reminded me that I had indeed ordered some cookie dough from the senior class--Yes, I said to myself, I shall do my part to support. They were doing a fundraiser, and they were mailing me what I had bought. This should have explained one package, not all five. I had ordered ONE tub of cookie dough, which was pushing it because that's about the last thing I need sitting in my refrigerator right now. And yet, they had sent me FIVE tubs. Count 'em FIVE--and five THREE POUND tubs at that--that's FIFTEEN POUNDS OF DOUGH. If you lumped it all together it would weigh as much as a small child (or perhaps a beagle). This reminded me of when my friend Heather had purchased a Barney DVD from Target for Toys for Tots and they ended up sending her three Barney DVDs--and no one needs that much "I love you, you love me" in their life. It is a good thing that they specify on the outside of the box that the dough lasts 6 months refrigerated and one year frozen, because that is about how long it is going to take me to consume that much cookie dough. Either that, or every first year student next year is going to be receiving a free water bottle and an information packet with a triple chocolate cookie neatly tucked inside. I love cookies and cookie dough as much as the next gal, but I strongly dislike getting burned out on my favorite foods. I hope this doesn't turn out like the Airheads incident of '95 where I bought a Costco sized box of Airheads and proceeded to eat so many of them that I couldn't even look at an Airhead without feeling ill for about 10 years (Look, it was 5th grade, and it seemed like a great idea: I could get 2 Airheads for .25 cents, and I LOVED those Airheads, so what would be more awesome then 2 Airheads for .25 cents? 200 Airheads for $5). So, if anyone who lives within my general proximity would like some cookies, by all means, help yourself.