Later in the class she came over to look at my work and she asked me if I was having fun or if I was frustrated. I said a little bit of both. It's always frustrating to me (and I'm sure it is to anyone) when they are trying to do something and for some reason what's in their mind's eye isn't coming out onto the canvas (or you can't find the right words or the right music notes, or whatever it is you are trying to do). And she said to me that she could tell that I have high expectations of myself, and that this was a good thing because my learning curve was going to be high. And I had never looked at that part of myself as a positive thing for some reason, I've rather despised that part of myself because it can be maddening. I've always struggled with perfectionism, and it probably contributes to 99 percent of my insecurities. I think sometimes high expectations can become negative if you let it consume you--sometimes you never really commit to anything because you don't want to be a failure and subsequently never let yourself become successful at very much. But to look at it as a positive--that if I keep aiming high I'll achieve a lot, was a beautiful concept and something I hope I will embrace instead of letting life weigh me down. Well, Law and Order: SVU is on.
Shoot! I've already seen it!!! Argh!