Sweet fancy moses.

I think I've just struck pure, delicious, brain-stimulating G-O-L-D:

http://thesocietypages.org/

This sucker is ripe full of interesting reads!!! You know what Connecticut, you continue with your four day rain marathon--I've got plenty of reading material to keep me satisfied!!! And now with a new French press, I'm all set!

VICTORY!!!

After almost two years of trying to find a delicious independently owned coffee shop I DID it!!! You have no idea that strife I felt every time I walked into a Starbucks, but it was literally all I had! My new little gem is called the Hartford Baking Company and it's just the most precious little shop you've ever laid eyes on. Get this! My new friend Debbie whom I met who works there worked at freaking MACRINA in Seattle. You may have enjoyed my service at one time or another there from June-September 2008. She worked at the other location (Bell Town, I worked at Queen Anne) and get this also--she claims that the breads sold at HBC are better than Macrina! That's a bold statement, but I'm willing to find out if it's true or not...but the BEST part of this whole dream-world utopia I've discovered is they SERVE STUMPTOWN COFFEE...need I say more? If I do, it's basically A-W-E-S-O-M-E coffee if you weren't able to put two and two together by the excited tone of this blog or the overabundance of exclamation points!!!!! (context clues!!!!!)

"Live in the moment and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering!"

--Fanny Crosby (AWESOME NAME by the way!!!)

Potential Online Dating Profile

I think online dating is an interesting concept. I realize it's the new trend of the future, and not to say I wouldn't try it, mainly because I work at an all women's college so dating opportunities are few and far between, and why not, it gets me out of the house and I feel up for anything these days. And I like having "good" (as in ridiculous) stories like this one to blog about (and don't you looovvveee reading them?). But the whole concept of selling oneself online is really curious to me. Because this is essentially what you are doing--making yourself look as cool and normal as possible, along with convincing the person you are going out with that you're not some sort of serial killer or a complete looney toon. But seriously, for the "about me" section on the online survey thingys--what the frick are you supposed to put? Because I, dear friends, am very, very complex and cannot be summed up in a few sentences. I feel like if you were to take a general content survey of most online profiles, you would most likely come across the following: "I'm a fun loving person who enjoys trying new things. I want to meet someone who has a good sense of humor." I think we can all generally agree that these are fairly safe (and obvious) statements to make, and really don't tell you very much about the person at all.

But here's the real question, which I suppose goes with selling yourself--who the heck is going to write "I HATE laughing. I am completely uptight, and I hate having a good time too." No one is ever going to write that, but the funny part is that for some reason we feel the need to re-iterate and assure the person on the other side of the computer that we do indeed enjoy "having a good time" by including it in the "About Me" section. Well duh--most people do. It might be fun to write an online profile in all opposites. For example:

ABOUT ME:

I AM THE OPPOSITE OF ALL OF THESE THINGS:

*Time waster

*Rude

*I hate people

*Angry 99 percent of the time

*Boring

*Cupcake hater

What I really want someone to write on an online profile is all of their flaws, because this is the real deal breaker in a relationship. Do you pick your nose? Do you smoke illegal substances? Perhaps you hate puppies. Are you homophobic or a misogynist? Have you not cleaned your bathroom in 6 months? These are the things I really want to know. Stop the charades!!! Don't tell me something obvious like "I like eating delicious food," (DUH--do normal people enjoy eating crappy food?)--let's get REAL.

In Mourning

R.I.P. 4-5 inches of my hair. I'm really, really sad. I always felt pretty low-maintenance when it came to my hair--"laissez-faire" as the French might say. I was never someone who got all freaked out and crazy when I went to the hair dresser (this layer is 1/8 inch off, or these hairs didn't get trimmed EXACTLY how I wanted), just as long as my bangs were fairly decent I was happy. Oh my how the tables have turned to quote Adele. So yesterday as I was sitting in Starbucks sipping a coffee I decided I REALLY needed a trim. I'm not terribly observant, so the fact that I noticed the goo gob of split ends on the ends of my hair indicated to me that it was indeed time for a trim. Hmmm I thought to myself, I am out and about, there is a Supercuts across the street, maybe I will venture over. To the average person, the word "Supercuts" might have been the first indicator that this wasn't going to end well or perhaps what we call a "RED LIGHT," and I'll admit I had my doubts. But I am not average (and unfortunately beginning to think "below average" when it comes to decision making skills...?) and my inner monologue kicked in:

"Jess, remember the HORRIBLE experience you had last time? REMEMBER THE BANG TRIM OF NOVEMBER 2010!?!?!?!"

"Yes, but that was one stylist and they switch stylists all the time over there, so you're not going to get the same one. AND you just need a TRIM, and it's very specific. You just want two inches off. How difficult can a trim be?!" (bwa ha ha laughed the gods of hair!!! The irony of your statement they laughed to themselves!!!)

"OK yes, but SUPER CUTS. That should be enough to stop you!"

"But it's cheap!!! And you have no money!!! AND don't go on stereotypes--you're a sociologist!--maybe you'll get a really good cut you didn't expect!"

As usual, capitalism won out, as I could pay $15 for a simple haircut or twice as much for what I ANTICIPATED would be "the same thing" at another salon. As I would soon find out, $15 extra dollars would have been well worth it. And while I usually think of being an "eternal optimist" as a good thing, it seems that the line has been blurred between positivity and lunacy.

I thought I was speaking in fairly obvious and direct English as I described to the stylist what I wanted, but I either speak another language besides Spanish that I didn't know I spoke, or the English I was speaking was how shall we say "loosely interpreted." Apparently my degree in Communications is worthless. It seems a "healthy trim" and "remove two inches please" means cut off four to five inches and bring my mid-back hair to my shoulders. I think it was the first hair cut I've ever shed tears over. All the vitamins I ate to grow it out. All that TIME--and for WHAT????? Because while many people's hair I know grows at a rapid rate, mine grows at the pace of a turtle or a tree: SEE: VERY SLOW. TWO YEARS it took me to grow it out!!! I didn't have a college degree yet when I started on this journey!

But I'm trying this new thing where I'm trying to look at the silver lining to every what-I-choose-to-interpret-as-"bad" thing that happens to me: I will argue the positive. I was able to muster up five "good" things that have come out of my predicament:

1. My haircut is "greener" because I will have to buy less products to maintain it, spend less time washing it, and less time blow-drying it, therefore saving resources

2. I will be able to get more volume by teasing it because it is now shorter and therefore easier to make it bigger--and we know how I love me some volume.

3. It will be cooler in the hot summer weather.

4. I have learned to never, ever trust Supercuts AGAIN.

5. I DID get the healthy trim I wanted...(though it's a little comparable to asking for "non fat dairy" and getting brussel sprouts instead)

That is all. While you may want to see a picture I am not psychologically ready yet. I'm still trying to figure out a positive for the coffee I spilled all over myself on my bike ride home today.

Check out my new favorite blog to follow:

New Dress a Day

This woman basically takes dresses from thrift stores and makes them into something cool and trendy. My kind o' blog!!!

"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity..."

--Gilda Radner