Sunday, May 8, 2011

In Mourning

R.I.P. 4-5 inches of my hair. I'm really, really sad. I always felt pretty low-maintenance when it came to my hair--"laissez-faire" as the French might say. I was never someone who got all freaked out and crazy when I went to the hair dresser (this layer is 1/8 inch off, or these hairs didn't get trimmed EXACTLY how I wanted), just as long as my bangs were fairly decent I was happy. Oh my how the tables have turned to quote Adele. So yesterday as I was sitting in Starbucks sipping a coffee I decided I REALLY needed a trim. I'm not terribly observant, so the fact that I noticed the goo gob of split ends on the ends of my hair indicated to me that it was indeed time for a trim. Hmmm I thought to myself, I am out and about, there is a Supercuts across the street, maybe I will venture over. To the average person, the word "Supercuts" might have been the first indicator that this wasn't going to end well or perhaps what we call a "RED LIGHT," and I'll admit I had my doubts. But I am not average (and unfortunately beginning to think "below average" when it comes to decision making skills...?) and my inner monologue kicked in:

"Jess, remember the HORRIBLE experience you had last time? REMEMBER THE BANG TRIM OF NOVEMBER 2010!?!?!?!"
"Yes, but that was one stylist and they switch stylists all the time over there, so you're not going to get the same one. AND you just need a TRIM, and it's very specific. You just want two inches off. How difficult can a trim be?!" (bwa ha ha laughed the gods of hair!!! The irony of your statement they laughed to themselves!!!)
"OK yes, but SUPER CUTS. That should be enough to stop you!"
"But it's cheap!!! And you have no money!!! AND don't go on stereotypes--you're a sociologist!--maybe you'll get a really good cut you didn't expect!"

As usual, capitalism won out, as I could pay $15 for a simple haircut or twice as much for what I ANTICIPATED would be "the same thing" at another salon. As I would soon find out, $15 extra dollars would have been well worth it. And while I usually think of being an "eternal optimist" as a good thing, it seems that the line has been blurred between positivity and lunacy.

I thought I was speaking in fairly obvious and direct English as I described to the stylist what I wanted, but I either speak another language besides Spanish that I didn't know I spoke, or the English I was speaking was how shall we say "loosely interpreted." Apparently my degree in Communications is worthless. It seems a "healthy trim" and "remove two inches please" means cut off four to five inches and bring my mid-back hair to my shoulders. I think it was the first hair cut I've ever shed tears over. All the vitamins I ate to grow it out. All that TIME--and for WHAT????? Because while many people's hair I know grows at a rapid rate, mine grows at the pace of a turtle or a tree: SEE: VERY SLOW. TWO YEARS it took me to grow it out!!! I didn't have a college degree yet when I started on this journey!

But I'm trying this new thing where I'm trying to look at the silver lining to every what-I-choose-to-interpret-as-"bad" thing that happens to me: I will argue the positive. I was able to muster up five "good" things that have come out of my predicament:
1. My haircut is "greener" because I will have to buy less products to maintain it, spend less time washing it, and less time blow-drying it, therefore saving resources
2. I will be able to get more volume by teasing it because it is now shorter and therefore easier to make it bigger--and we know how I love me some volume.
3. It will be cooler in the hot summer weather.
4. I have learned to never, ever trust Supercuts AGAIN.
5. I DID get the healthy trim I wanted...(though it's a little comparable to asking for "non fat dairy" and getting brussel sprouts instead)

That is all. While you may want to see a picture I am not psychologically ready yet. I'm still trying to figure out a positive for the coffee I spilled all over myself on my bike ride home today.

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