Potential Online Dating Profile

I think online dating is an interesting concept. I realize it's the new trend of the future, and not to say I wouldn't try it, mainly because I work at an all women's college so dating opportunities are few and far between, and why not, it gets me out of the house and I feel up for anything these days. And I like having "good" (as in ridiculous) stories like this one to blog about (and don't you looovvveee reading them?). But the whole concept of selling oneself online is really curious to me. Because this is essentially what you are doing--making yourself look as cool and normal as possible, along with convincing the person you are going out with that you're not some sort of serial killer or a complete looney toon. But seriously, for the "about me" section on the online survey thingys--what the frick are you supposed to put? Because I, dear friends, am very, very complex and cannot be summed up in a few sentences. I feel like if you were to take a general content survey of most online profiles, you would most likely come across the following: "I'm a fun loving person who enjoys trying new things. I want to meet someone who has a good sense of humor." I think we can all generally agree that these are fairly safe (and obvious) statements to make, and really don't tell you very much about the person at all.

But here's the real question, which I suppose goes with selling yourself--who the heck is going to write "I HATE laughing. I am completely uptight, and I hate having a good time too." No one is ever going to write that, but the funny part is that for some reason we feel the need to re-iterate and assure the person on the other side of the computer that we do indeed enjoy "having a good time" by including it in the "About Me" section. Well duh--most people do. It might be fun to write an online profile in all opposites. For example:

ABOUT ME:

I AM THE OPPOSITE OF ALL OF THESE THINGS:

*Time waster

*Rude

*I hate people

*Angry 99 percent of the time

*Boring

*Cupcake hater

What I really want someone to write on an online profile is all of their flaws, because this is the real deal breaker in a relationship. Do you pick your nose? Do you smoke illegal substances? Perhaps you hate puppies. Are you homophobic or a misogynist? Have you not cleaned your bathroom in 6 months? These are the things I really want to know. Stop the charades!!! Don't tell me something obvious like "I like eating delicious food," (DUH--do normal people enjoy eating crappy food?)--let's get REAL.