Sunday, March 27, 2011

Do Something New: Give Someone My Number

I haven't blogged about doing something new each week, but let's be clear--it's been happening, I just haven't been very diligent in logging what I've been doing. I've been to a political rally, belly danced, sewed a dress, tried a new cupcake recipe, but perhaps my biggest challenge to conquer was giving someone my phone number before they asked me for it. This might come as quite a shock, but I have never ever done this--I tend to be much more of a wallflower when it comes to my love life, which is a crying shame and a mountain I've been trying to climb for years. I'll admit my fear of rejection is probably somewhat comparable to how my coworker Tai feels about clowns and snakes (that is: absolutely terrified). Other people I know can waltz up to someone and say, "Hey, you seem awesome, let's get together," but not me, no sirree, and as one can imagine, my love life has been anything but eventful. When your only boyfriend comes out of the closet (xoxo love you!!!), it's time to get your head in the game. Anyways, I've had a crush on this guy at a local organic grocery store for quite some time--we'll call the store "Complete Eats" just for kicks. I first saw Complete Eats Guy a.k.a. Dream Guy at a food sampling they were doing at the store. As he handed me my small sample of Airborne (yeah, no idea why they were sampling it, but I didn't really care at that point), he began to tell me how he used to be a vegan and just as my ears perked up at the word "vegan," someone screamed, "Hey--we need someone on Aisle 5!" and he dashed off. Blast--love connection evaded. For a few months I avoided him like a nervous school girl, blushing every time I saw him in the vitamin aisle. It was embarrassing, really. This from the woman who can talk to a rock, but around this guy I was a blithering idiot. Finally we started conversing, because he noticed my recycled bottle cap ring. Why yes, I do wear recycled things for jewelry and I DO care about the earth. Methinks you should be intrigued. Our conversations began somewhat awkwardly, as once I asked him after a snowy day in hopes of striking up conversation number 2, "Uhhhh you all close because of the snow?" (Really dumb question that I knew the answer to). "Nope, we're really rain or shine around here." "Ohhh cool" (insert nervous giggle). I usually ended up walking away thinking, "Get yourself together Miller!!! You are no longer in the fifth grade!" However, our conversations invariably began to drift towards talking about important issues like poverty, Marxism, the oil crisis, socially conscious businesses, you know, typical conversations one might have in the shampoo aisle at the grocery store. Shoot--we were solving the world's problems with these discussions! I would usually come back feeling fairly self-defeated, and then Tai would invariably give me some sort of pick up line that involved me giving him my number which would leave me in the fetal position on the couch--why, why WHY can't I just do it?! It's not that difficult!!! I've done much more challenging things in my life! Statistics class! Geometry! Figuring out public transportation in Costa Rica! And I can't give someone my number!? I continued attending Complete Eats on a fairly regular basis, which was proving to become a very expensive habit. I needed to get that number or I was going to go broke, and I would not have Complete Eats benefiting from my cowardliness (not to mention Tai was making continual threats to revoke my feminist card). Finally, two months after our initial conversation, I finally decided I was going in for the kill because this was getting ridiculous. My boss sent me in to snatch up some pastries for people's March birthdays. As I walked past the cosmetics section, I spotted Complete Eats Guy. "Oh hey--nice sweater vest," he said. You like argyle?! Does it GET any better than this?! This conversation is headed in a VERY good direction. We somehow got onto another one of our delightful socially conscious conversations, and we were discussing the Civil Rights movement and he said, "Yeah, I don't understand why we don't have more holidays to celebrate female leaders." Just as I was about to swoon in the vitamin aisle, he said, "But I could talk about this all day." OPPORTUNITY IS KNOCKING, AND I, JESS, AM COMING TO ANSWER. "Well, if you want to, I'm around. I love talking about this stuff. Let me give you my number." "Okay, that sounds great--we could have coffee or something, I'll give you a call." SMOOTH MOVE. And it only took me two months to do it! I pride myself on efficiency...

It's not going to work out between us--he eventually made mention of a "lady friend" in Texas. Maybe part of the attraction was the fact that he seemed to be about one of five socially conscious men I've met thus far in my life. But nonetheless, I still put myself out there, and got out on that playing field, and maybe that's what this whole thing was really about--conquering my fear. And Tai says I can have my feminist card back.


  1. This is why I read your blog, and why you should post more often! Yea for you!

  2. Jess, this could be your funniest blog to date (pun intended)!!! it was a wonderful distraction from a hard days work behind the accessories counter of the most ghetto Macy's in existence. Keep the hilarious stories rolling.....and I look forward to hearing about your next visit to........Complete Eats......