Why I Own a Flip Phone

Tai incessantly makes fun of me because I own a flip phone. Specifically, the AT&T Nokia (see left. But mine is a handsome and becoming crimson). She says that I am behind the technology curve ball, and that she is embarrassed to be seen with me, and she tells me that they don't even make flip phones anymore for a reason. It should also be moderately telling that when talking to a man at a local establishment, when I pulled out my phone for some reason he said, "Wait. Is that a flip phone? I haven't seen one of those in years." Yeah, that's right Mr. Bar Man. I'm THAT smooth. This just goes to show that neither of these people or the many others who have commented on said phone know the AWESOME perks of the flip phone. It doesn't matter that it randomly deleted half of my phone numbers one day! No! It does not! Because the benefits far outweigh the cons:

1. It is very durable. I have dropped my phone numerous times. Carpet. Cement. Wood floors. Tile. The surface is irrelevant, because it remains strong. Is the screen cracked? Is it broken in half? Nope. Sturdy as a brick. Sure, when dropped it may break into three pieces, but those three pieces still work when put back together. So. Yeah.

2. As my friend Frank March pointed out, you can more accurately express your anger to the person you are speaking with: "WHAT DID YOU SAY???!!! I AM HANGING UP ON YOU!!! **slam your flip phone shut (and because I angrily yell at people on the phone quite frequently in my day-to-day life. I'd say at LEAST once a year). Try this with an iphone as you angrily jab your finger at the screen. Yeah. Doesn't feel quite as cathartic does it? Does it?!

3. When you are bored you can make a small hut or lean-to-like structure out of the flip phone, perhaps for a small Lego man or woman to live in during the cold winter months.

4. No butt dialing on the flip phone! No siree! Nope, your ass will not accidentally sit on those keys and you will not accidentally call your ex boyfriend or text an accidental inappropriate word to your grandma (that is, if she texts)!

5. No pockets in your pants? No problem. Simply open the flip phone half way and slide it onto your belt or the top of your pants. You don't even need a cell phone holder or clip--it's built right into the phone.

6. You can say cool statements like, "Catch you on the FLIP side" or maybe, "If that person calls me ONE more time I'm going to FLIP out!" and that is actually accurate.

7. It was free. What more can I say? Money talks.