Summer Reads Thus Far

Summer is a time to D.E.A.R. (Drop Everything and Read!--Elementary school anyone? Anyone?)

Wonderful.

Fantastic.

Disturbing (though not shocking).

On the docket:

One of my greatest life accomplishments was in fifth grade where I earned the most stars for pages read. I'm trying to relive my glory days this summer. Basically, back in the day you got a star for every one hundred pages (I think). The stars went up on nametags displayed in our classroom, and I had to start a second name tag because I earned so many (thank youuuuu Baby Sitters Club, or BSC as the fans called it). Oh and I also got a gift certificate to the book club every time I got so many stars--like a WHOLE $5.00! Which I then cashed in so I could read MORE pages! It was a vicious cycle. I lived to read more, more, more! My teacher said she'd never seen a child read so much--though I think she thought I was making my book reports up to be quite honest with you. I also think this officially confirmed my status as a nerd for the next 5 or so years. And nerds are cool! Sweater vests totally came back in style this year, and Tina Fey is bringing back the thick black rimmed glasses so...yup, totally en vogue even in the fifth grade. Or something like that. I think this is why I identify so much with Rachel Berry on "Glee" (minus the whole obnoxious needs-to-be-famous-thing). But I like her knees socks.

MORE CRAFTING!!!

Some more easy to do projects!!! Pinterest, I don't know how to thank you, but you have changed my life eternally. Yup. FOR FOREVER. Went to a BBQ and thought, "Hmmm what should I bring to share?" PINTEREST YOU HAVE AN ANSWER. Ugly table, what can I POSSIBLY do with you? PINTEREST. Boring shoes? PINTEREST will teach me to bedazzle them. Riddle me this--I have a hankering for something sweet (like I do every day of my life). What shall I bake? Answer to be found on Pinterest. You are like the Magic 8 Ball of the crafting/food world! Anyways, here are some things you have inspired me to do!

EW. But wait! Because there is hope! You, Wee Little Table, are like a beautiful butterfly that I will help to unleash:

Ow ow now that's what I'm talkin' o' bout. All I did was create a stencil, painted it, and sprayed some finish on it to seal the deal. And Voila look at what we have here!

I went to a BBQ yesterday to celebrate AMERICA's BIRTHDAY!!! I wanted to celebrate America by bringing forth some delicious nutrition.

Fresh greens, strawberries, cucumbers, red onion, almonds and a raspberry vinegarette. The perfect summer salad. I was going to throw some avocado in there as well, but unfortunately the one I bought wasn't quite ripe enough (rookie mistake).

For my next project I wanted to jazz up some gross (and cheap!) flats...

And *BAM*! These suckers are ready to sparkle for the Fourth of July!!!

Find out how to make your own here! Seriously...so stinkin' EASY!

Finally, I made these today--I ate 3. Yum. K, totally stole this picture, but mine looked just like this without the very nicely placed Coca Cola jar in the back. Catch the recipe here. Like. So. Good. Whoever thought these suckers up should be in the running for some sort of award. When I open up a bakery I will make these. And yes the irony is not lost on me that I just posted about a salad and nutrition above. I can't even justify it, it just happened. These are really great if you want your roommates to love you even more then they already do.

In Michael Pollan's book "Food Rules" (you should read that book, it's awesome and changed my life), one of the rules is that you should make your own junk food. His principle is that the junk food will be made with more natural ingredients and you will know exactly what is being put in it-therefore less processed- (present Oreo excluded), and you'll most likely eat less because you probably won't feel like baking every day. Ha ha, Well, I showed HIM. I win.

Summer Uniform

Summer Uniform by JessM1717 featuring a yoga activewear

What I have been living in the last 5 days...work out gear

Best Orthodontist EVER.

Today I had to go to the orthodontist. I felt really out of place given I was a good ten years older then most of the people there. You see, my bottom permanent retainer broke, so I went in to see what my options were to fix it. I biked up to the office, and was welcomed by an astoundingly friendly receptionist. It is moderately troubling to me that I so quickly noted her friendliness and it seemed so out of place, as I feel as though it is in the receptionist's job description to be friendly, however most that I run into in medical facilities seem to have a big case of the sourpuss. But this woman was LOVELY. She had a warmth about her that for a moment I contemplated telling her my life story and all my troubles. Anyways, as Kristen welcomed me, she said, "There's coffee and tea to your right. Computers are back behind that wall. Arcade games to the right." YES. THEY HAD A FULL ON ARCADE IN THEIR WAITING ROOM AND A COMPUTER LAB. Oh! Had I been a teenager... GAME ON!-- I would have been so excited to go--I was excited enough as it was back in the day because I was able to go get the rubber bands on my braces to match my middle school colors (go gold and purple!). I couldn't figure out why the angsty teen next to me didn't look so thrilled. I especially couldn't figure it out when I was ushered into a room with a TV AND X BOX. I don't even like video games, but that is LEGIT! On top of it, every single person who passed my open door gave me a warm smile and hearty hello--had I gone to heaven? Oz? This was a magical place filled with perfectly straight, toothy grins, positive can-do attitudes and VIDEO GAMES. My orthodontist then proceeded to tell me that it would cost approximately FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS to fix and replace my retainer. Oh, and insurance will not pay for it. I then put two and two together and realized that this was how the dazzling pizazz came to this place--on the backs of poor graduate students like myself and awkward teenagers straightening their smiles. My retainer alone would pay for the Keurig and coffee that I enjoyed earlier. Sigh--I had to make an appointment with my orthodontist back at home who will replace my retainer for free, which is now going to seem far less exciting given that they have no entertainment systems when I go to that office, but I will imagine all the exciting things I can do with the $500 I will be saving. But still...X BOX IN YOUR WAITING ROOM!!!

Black Bean Brownies

Sound gross? Much like I felt when I believed that the Tea Party was just a fun thing you did with your 5-year-old friends and not a scary political party I WAS WRONG. YOU NEED TO TRY THESE IMMEDIATELY. It's one of those things that you say to yourself "that sounds so disgusting, yet someone was crazy enough to try it it er go it MUST be DELICIOUS." Like Peanut butter on hamburgers (yup. I've eaten it and it's amazing-thank you Grandpa). Bacon maple donut bars (all pre-vegetarian days of course). Tomatoes. You know. As a skeptic myself, I decided I needed to give these a try immediately. If I love two things in this world you can be sure that those things include baked goods and fiber. OK well they wouldn't be my TOP two--they would fall behind goldadoodles, bike riding, good chapstick, Seattle, Darren Criss and caffeinated beverages. But still, both VERY significant in my life. And one would assume that these two things cannot go hand and hand. How can something SO delicious and sweet ALSO be SO nutritious? Well, my friends, I've found the solution to satisfying your sweet tooth as well as regulating your B.M.s and helping your heart out (and most Americans don't get enough fiber in their diet anyways!). It's pretty much like taking two super awesome but seemingly contradictory things and mashing them together to make one super something--sort of like if Jon Bon Jovi and Tina Fey had a love child that they named Feminism and she wore a ring that could produce cupcakes on command (Captain Planet Style) while also singing and dancing to Glee-esque showtunes. Yes, Black Bean Brownies are THAT awesome.

Fudgy Black Bean Brownies

Makes 16 Servings

This recipe has been so popular that we decided to feature it in our new family cookbook, No Whine with Dinner. We hope you enjoy the brownies … and our cookbook!

• One 15-ounce can black beans, drained and rinsed very well
• 3 large eggs
• 3 tablespoons canola oil
• 3/4 cup granulated sugar
• 1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1/2 teaspoon peppermint extract, optional
• 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
• Pinch salt
• 1/2 cup mini semi-sweet chocolate chips, divided

1. Preheat the oven to 350°F. Lightly oil or coat an 8 x 8-inch baking pan or dish with nonstick cooking spray and set aside.

2. Place the black beans in the bowl of a food processor and process until smooth and creamy. Add the eggs, oil, sugar, cocoa powder, vanilla extract, peppermint extract as desired, baking powder, and salt and process until smooth. Add ¼ cup of the chips and pulse a few times until the chips are incorporated.

3. Pour the batter into the prepared pan, smooth the top with a rubber spatula, and sprinkle with the remaining ¼ cup chocolate chips.

4. Bake 30 to 35 minutes, or until the edges start to pull away from the sides of the pan and a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Cool in the pan before slicing into 2-inch squares.

LOVE THIS. John Cusack on his hero--funny, he and I have the same one.

I think we should go back to these times.